Letting go and embracing uncertainty
I hope you’re riding the ups and downs of lockdown in good shape.
Personally, the ups and downs have become less dramatic in recent weeks, but I must admit that this feeling of being in limbo is unsettling. But I’ve been asking myself, what’s the struggle?
I feel that my freedom has been limited, but when I think about pre-lockdown times I’m aware that I was trapped in a web of habits (called samkaras in the yoga tradition) – a series of actions and thoughts that I carried out unconsciously, without reflection. In lockdown I’ve felt a freedom and expansiveness that’s arisen from breaking free of these routines.
Can I set aside these habits for good and remain empty of expectation?
The answer is often no! I want the kids back to school, I want our foreign holiday to go ahead and I want my indoor yoga classes back again!
But this is the practice…noticing that I have a strong attachment to things I think will make me happy and an aversion to letting go, surrendering to the unknown. Noticing the freedom that arises from knowing that the future will unfold as it wishes, regardless of my thoughts or desires.